WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMEONE IS CHOKING
I Felt Him Slip Away as His Body Slumped
My beloved coughs a lot. He coughs intermittently when he sleeps. He coughs when we eat when something goes down the wrong way. He gets colds easily and coughs unceasingly.
Unfortunately, the sound of coughing is a key misophonia trigger for me. I hear him coughing in the other room, and my blood pressure goes up immediately. I sigh loudly. Our sensitive rescue dog gets up and hides behind the chair (sighing is his trigger).
I’ve tried to figure out what causes instant anger when I hear him cough, but I have no idea. I’ve tried to work myself through a process where I recognize my anger, let myself feel it, and then let go of it. It doesn’t always work. There’s nothing logical about misophonia.
But last night, we may have found the ultimate cure.
Choke point
During a photo shoot with an actress last night, my photographer boyfriend took a swig of coffee as we reviewed the second series of photos for her portfolio. He instantly choked. Coughing hard and struggling not to vomit. I hit his back (as I often do when he coughs) and then ran to grab napkins a few feet away, in case anything came up.
Suddenly, the coughing grew more panicked and intense and then stopped altogether. His entire head and neck were purple. As I reached to put the napkins in front of his mouth, he slumped forward in his chair. Seemingly lifeless.
He wasn’t breathing, and he had just passed out.
I said to the actress, “Call 911!” She stared at me blankly. “Call 911!” I repeated.
I began beating on his back. Hard. I had an overwhelming sense that he was a goner if I couldn’t get him breathing; I wasn’t sure EMS would arrive in time. I’d felt him slip away from me — both physically and metaphysically.
I needed him back. It wasn’t going to happen this way.
I yelled, “Come back! Come back to me!,” repeating his name over and over.
I knew I needed to do something else next, but my brain was stalled. What was I supposed to do next?
Revival
Just as 911 came on the line, he revived. He was out maybe 10 seconds in all. They were 10 of the longest seconds of my life.
He sat up, completely confused. He didn’t know why we were staring at him; he didn’t understand why 911 was on the phone. (We told the emergency dispatcher everything was okay. No emergency vehicles came.)
Then he coughed. And coughed. And coughed. For another 15 minutes.
And as I sat staring at him with tear-filled eyes, sending prayers of gratitude heavenward, and listening to air flowing in and out of his body with loud, dry, ear-splitting gusts, I decided that the sound of his cough may just be the most beautiful sound in the world.
According to medical resources that I researched after this incident to burn protocols into my brain, the proper course of action for someone who is choking is:
- Beat on the back of the choking victim five times
- Then attempt Heimlich maneuver five times
- Repeat this cycle.
If they lose consciousness, begin chest compressions (CPR). This is what I should have done. And now I know. I’m grateful he revived without compressions.
© Naomi, 2021
Tagging my friend Michael Burg, MD (AKA Medium Michael Burg) with an invitation to add more information if I’ve miscast anything. I love knowing smart people.
